Crazy Covid Service

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How covid has made business go crazy

I had to contact Bell again about my line.  No dial tone yet again.  It’s all done on-line via chat.  I’m so thrilled at the inhuman interaction pushed upon us.

Bell Bernard:  Hello and Welcome to Bell’s chat service.    How may I provide you with excellent service today?

I know it’s not AI this time because the message said “All our chat agents are currently assisting other customers.  Please remain online and you will be connected to an agent shortly.  Thank you for your patience.  That was from “Bell Specialist” and I know it was a canned message.

Me to Bell Bernard: Hi, I don’t have a dial tone on my phone.  This is the third time in three weeks this has happened.  I need a technician.”

If it had been AI there would have been no “Hi.”

Bell Bernard:  May I ask if your home phone has a dial tone?

Strike the word excellent.  Bell Bernard has no memory after he reads something.  So I repeated what I said.

Me to Bell Bernard:  There is no dial tone.

Bell Bernard schedules a technician.  He writes:

Bell Bernard:  I can see here that the most earliest date for a tech to visit is tomorrow from 3 to 5 PM.

There’s my second confirmation it’s definitely not AI.  I know AI has been programmed in the proper use of superlatives.

Well, at least there is a human at the other end who is employed.

For the protection of the technician there was a battery of covid-19 questions such as “Has anyone in your household been in contact with anyone who has been diagnosed with covid-19 in the last 14 days?” 

I don’t know who comes up with thes questions.  I think someone in Corporate at Bell thinks they are very clever with the nature of the questions.  A self-assessed semi-genius no doubt. 

Exactly how would I know if I had been in contact with anyone who has been diagnosed with covid-19 in the last 14 days?  The cashier at the grocery store doesn’t wear a bright yellow patch on his shirt that says “Hey, I was diagnosed with covid-19 in the past 14 days.” 

Exactly how many people have I been in contact with in the past 14 days anyway?  I don’t keep a list.  I don’t take pics with my phone.  Someone would bash me in the face.  I don’t jot down their phone numbers (it would be awfully forward to ask).  Maybe 8 days ago somebody in the fruit section handled some apples I touched afterward.  Had they been diagnosed?  Were they asymptomatic?  Maybe I should have a stack of business cards to hand out like a mute person looking for donations that says “If you get diagnosed with covid-19 in the next 14 days, please give me a shout.  I may have to answer Bell Canada’s health security screening so I can get my phone working.”  I could get them gold embossed to give it more importance.